<![CDATA[Monique HorsemanshipLLC

<![CDATA[Monique HorsemanshipLLC - Blog]]>Sat, 21 Mar 2026 02:50:45 -0600Weebly<![CDATA[A Glimpse into the World of a Horse Trainer]]>Thu, 06 Jun 2024 22:39:21 GMThttps://www.moniquehorsemanship.com/blog/title-behind-the-bridle-a-glimpse-into-the-world-of-a-horse-trainer
Quiet Battles, Heavy LoadsIn the world of horse training, the battles we fight are often quiet and unseen. I’m speaking from my own experience, and I hope this offers horse owners a little inside perspective into what we go through—not just as professionals, but as people.
Every trainer I know is struggling. Not just busy—struggling. We pour our blood, sweat, and hearts into this profession. We understand when clients bounce around looking for more affordable options or different solutions. We get it.
But what often goes unnoticed is that trainers are shouldering a lot more than most people realize.

What You Don’t SeeBehind the scenes, many of us are grieving miscarriages, battling cancer, navigating divorces, or dealing with profound personal loss—all while showing up every day to help you and your horse.
We don’t get days off. We don’t get to shut off our phones. While we’re eating dinner (if we get to eat dinner), we’re answering 50 texts about colic, supplements, schedule changes, or lesson questions that could’ve waited.
We do it because we love the horses.
But we’re also tired. Really tired.

The Mental Load is HeavyWe lie awake at night after a client texts to say they’re leaving—often with no notice. We wonder what we did wrong. We schedule vet appointments for a horse that isn’t right. We arrange PPEs for horses that must sell soon or the client will be upset. We hold horses for the farrier so we don’t lose them, too.
We rearrange six canceled lessons after a horse show, while trying to avoid complaints from the four horses still wearing blankets in 60-degree weather.
And when a horse we’ve been trying to sell goes lame—on the very day we need them to show well—it’s another gut punch.
Then the trailer breaks down after a late-night haul home, and there’s no one around to help unload.

We Are Human, TooSome days, we get on 10 horses—and maybe one feels great, while the others fight us every step. Some days we question everything. We feel like we’re failing. We wonder if we even belong in this industry.
We try to find time for our own goals, our own riding, our own lessons—but where does that time come from?
We go home to our spouses, partners, or families exhausted, but still trying to give them our attention—while mentally stuck on what went wrong in the barn that day.
Some of us are single, wondering if we’ll ever find someone, because who has time to meet anyone when you work 12-hour days, 7 days a week?

We Go the Extra Mile—Every DayMost of the work we do goes unseen:

Your trainer gave your horse meds late at night—for free.
She held your horse for the vet—and didn’t bill you.
She answered your texts on her day off.
She kept your horse in training when you fell behind on payment.

This is our dedication. It’s also why it hurts so deeply when a client just walks out—no warning, no communication. It’s personal. Because we gave our all.

We’re Not Asking for Pity—Just PerspectiveWe are professionals, yes—but we are also human beings. We sacrifice meals, time with family, vacations, and our own well-being to keep your horse healthy, trained, and progressing.
Most of us live month-to-month, managing the wellbeing of not just your horse—but 20+ others, each of whom we care about deeply.
When we have to reschedule your lesson, it’s not because we’re lazy or disorganized. It’s because we’re juggling a hundred things at once—including your horse’s best interest.

There Is No Bonus for BurnoutMany jobs offer incentives, paid time off, and benefits.
Horse trainers?

No health insurance.
No paid vacation.
No bonuses for championship wins.
No guaranteed income when we’re injured or sick.

When we raise our rates to survive, we often get pushback—or we lose clients. And if we dare to take a vacation, we come back to frustration and chaos, needing to work double to catch up. And we’re penalized for stepping away—even briefly.

What You Can DoIf you’re a client who cares—and most of you do—here’s how you can show up for your trainer:
✅ Give 30 days' notice before leaving a program
✅ Honor commissions on sales and purchases
✅ Respect days off—save texts for work hours
✅ Tip your trainer for show days and extra time
✅ Pay for additional services (vet holds, trailer rides, etc.)
✅ Celebrate their wins—cheer them on at shows
✅ Surprise them with coffee or a kind word
✅ Acknowledge the extras—because they add up

This Is the Life of a Horse TrainerPassion meets exhaustion.
Dedication meets challenge.
Every day, we wake up and try again—not just because it’s our job, but because it’s our calling.
We are not just horse trainers.
We are caretakers, mentors, advocates, and quiet warriors in the background of your horse’s story.
So the next time you see your trainer, maybe ask them how they’re doing.
You never know what they’re carrying that day.

]]><![CDATA[My experience with Zack the Zebra]]>Thu, 06 Jun 2024 22:33:41 GMThttps://www.moniquehorsemanship.com/blog/my-experience-with-zack-the-zebra<![CDATA[How long does it take you to teach your horse?]]>Thu, 06 Jun 2024 22:30:58 GMThttps://www.moniquehorsemanship.com/blog/how-long-does-it-take-you-to-teach-your-horseWhy Horse Training Takes TimeAnd Why That’s OkaySomething has shifted in the horse world—and not always for the better. Somewhere along the line, we started expecting that problems could be solved in a day, that a horse’s behavior could be changed overnight, and that training should happen on a deadline.
If you called a trainer and said,
“Can you teach my horse flying lead changes by Friday for a show on Saturday?”
you’d probably be told you’re crazy.
And yet, I get calls all the time asking for immediate fixes—as if I can snap my fingers and erase deeply ingrained issues, confusion, or fear.

Lead Changes Don’t Happen OvernightI often use lead changes as a great example, because they’re a complex maneuver. Teaching them well requires time, consistency, and all the right building blocks in place long before you ever ask the horse to make the change.
As a trainer, I’ll spend months building up to lead changes:

Getting the horse strong and balanced
Teaching responsiveness to subtle cues
Ensuring the horse understands what’s being asked

Even then, I’ll ride through the early, messy stages before a client ever tries it. Why? Because I know there will be some regression once a new rider begins to ask for it themselves. That’s natural—it’s part of the learning process for both horse and rider.

Trailer Loading Isn’t About “Making It Happen”Now let’s talk about trailer loading—one of the most common urgent calls I get.
People often expect I’ll load their horse that same day. Sometimes I can. But should I?
No.
Forcing it just makes me the "bad guy" in an already tense situation. It’s not fair to me—and more importantly, it’s not fair to the horse. Loading into a trailer requires trust, timing, and a clear, calm process. Rushing it can create lasting fear and resistance that’s much harder to undo later.

Doing It Wrong Leaves a MarkHere’s the reality: Practicing something poorly or unclearly leads to poor or unclear results.
Imagine your grade school teacher trying to teach you long division—but they don’t actually understand it themselves. You’d probably leave confused, frustrated, and maybe even afraid of math.
It’s the same with horses.
I fully support people who want to learn alongside their horse. That’s part of the magic of horsemanship. But there’s a time and a place for it—and not every moment is a teaching moment for both of you at the same time. Sometimes, the horse needs a clear teacher first, before learning with a student who’s still building their own toolbox.

It’s Not About Grit. It’s About Skills.This work isn’t about who’s braver or who has more grit. It’s about having the skills and feel to communicate clearly, fairly, and consistently—so that when your horse is carrying someone who isn’t yet that clear or consistent, everyone stays safe and on track.
That’s what good training does. It sets up the horse and the rider for success—not just today, but in the long run.
]]><![CDATA[Demystifying Desensitizing- Maintaining the Natural Sensitivity of a Horse]]>Thu, 06 Jun 2024 22:29:36 GMThttps://www.moniquehorsemanship.com/blog/demystifying-desensitizing-maintaining-the-natural-sensitivity-of-a-horseIn the process of working with horses, we as an industry began assuming that because of the size of a horse it is normal for them to be insensitive. For example, it may feel like there is 500 pounds of dead weight on your rein or lead rope. The reality is horses are very capable of being light and responsive, and they even depend on it to survive in the wild. Their ability to hear, see, and notice every little detail is unmatched.

Having to kick, pull hard, or use your whip repeatedly is a result of a riders' timing being off or inconsistent. Now, don’t get me wrong; each horse is an individual, and one horses' softness compared to another will vary (this is an evolutionary development explaining why there are all different rankings in a herd), but it is not normal for your horse to be dull.

Oftentimes, I hear people use the word "desensitize," and I find that concept misleading. Yes, we have to use a certain level of desensitization to get our horse to tolerate riders. From haltering to saddling and riding we ask our horses to do things very outside of their survival needs. However, through these necessities of training, we actually do not want to teach our horses to tune out and dissociate to the point that they lose all of their natural responsiveness. I frequently see horses who have been ‘desensitized’ improperly and feel trapped when exposed to something scary resulting in the horse feeling stuck or feeling the need to defend themselves such as striking or kicking.

As a trainer my goal is to be able to use aids in a way that I can allow horses a place to go, and finding a release of the pressure. Eventually, they will figure out that stressful pressure that was so scary and they had previously reacted too, doesn’t warrant a huge reaction after all, but with correct training and timing, there is an out.

Another mistake that I often see my clients make is constantly begging their horse through pulling or kicking resulting in horses being trained either to fight or to completely tune us out. Horses that frequently tolerate poor timing on the part of the human often develop the defense of dissociating to cope with the constant unrelenting pressure. These behaviors are often seen in lesson horses or schoolmasters who, are worth their weight in gold, and also know how to read between the lines and tune out unnecessary noise from the rider. The best way to create the desired lovely lightness and responsiveness is to use an aid and remove it as quickly as possible when a rider has achieved the desired response. Your horse will learn that all he stop the pressure of the aid, therefore alleviating nagging, is give you the correct answer in a short period of time.]]><![CDATA[Haltering and Bridling expectations]]>Fri, 07 Feb 2020 00:40:11 GMThttps://www.moniquehorsemanship.com/blog/haltering-and-bridling-expectationsLower the Head, Raise the RespectAsk your horse to lower their head every single time you catch or release them.
Did you read that?
EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
This one small habit can make a huge difference in your horse’s mindset, your safety, and the relationship you're building.
Now imagine this:
Pretend you’re a small child. You need your horse to help you out—to come down to your level. That’s exactly what you’re teaching when you ask them to lower their head. You’re not just making haltering and bridling easier (although it will 100% do that too), you’re teaching respect, softness, and connection.
Want to test it?
Try asking from a kneeling position. If your horse truly understands and respects the cue, they’ll drop their head right down—even when you’re on the ground.
Yes, it might take an extra 10 minutes today.
But what you’re investing in is a horse that’s easier to catch, easier to handle, and far more mentally available to you.

Having Trouble With This?If this is something new for you—or if you and your horse are struggling to get it consistent—I’d be happy to schedule a lesson and help you work through it.
This small habit creates big results.
And it’s one of the first things I teach for a reason.

]]><![CDATA[Leading your horse]]>Fri, 07 Feb 2020 00:39:09 GMThttps://www.moniquehorsemanship.com/blog/leading-your-horseIt’s Not About the Face—It’s About the FeetThink of it this way:
Your lead rope isn’t connected to your horse’s face—it's connected to their feet.
I know what you're thinking:
“Wait, what? What does that even mean?”
Let me explain.
Your horse is your dance partner. If you stop, they should stop. If you lead, they should follow. Instantly. No lag, no guesswork, no dragging behind or barging ahead.
When I create energy in the lead rope (what I call a “bump”), I expect the horse’s feet to move—not just the head. A lot of people bump their horse and see the head toss or pull up, but the feet don’t go anywhere. That’s a problem.
Why?
Because when the feet are stuck, the horse feels trapped. And when a horse feels trapped, they get defensive.
But when the feet always follow the feel, when they flow with the energy of the rope—you’ll always have control. You only lose control when you lose say over where your horse puts their feet.
So here’s a quick self-checklist. Be honest.

✅ How’s Your Groundwork?

Does your horse stop when you stop?
Not after three extra steps. I mean stop with you—instantly.
Does your horse turn right?
So many people always go left without thinking. Your horse should be just as responsive going right.
Does your horse back up when you do?
Or do you have to drag, pull, or beg?
Does your horse stay out of your space?
Or are you constantly trying to stay out of theirs?
Can you keep slack in the rope while your horse matches your speed?
If you walk faster, do they? If you slow down, do they?
If you tripped and fell, would your horse run you over?
(Yeah, seriously. That happens. It’s a respect issue.)
Could my 2-year-old daughter lead your horse safely?
If not, there’s still work to do.

🎯 The Bottom LineHold your horse accountable—all the time. These aren’t just exercises; they’re your safety, your horse’s clarity, and your connection.
Come back to this checklist regularly.
Make it part of your warm-up.
Make it part of your mindset.
When the feet follow the feel, everything else gets easier—from groundwork to riding.
.]]><![CDATA[Safety Tip]]>Fri, 07 Feb 2020 00:37:51 GMThttps://www.moniquehorsemanship.com/blog/safety-tipDon’t tie your horse to random things. Tying your horse and teaching patience is one of the most important skills a horse must have, but please only tie to sturdy solid horse rated tying spaces.
I have seen horses seriously injured by being tied to things that can not withstand a 1000+ pound animal pull back. Often then your horse is attached to said broken item and running around like a maniac. The ground work and work I do helps prepare a horse to be ok if something did happen but save your self the risk of really hurting your horse and other innocent bystanders.
This helps your horse in so many ways. Seriously consider with fore thought what is strong enough to hold your horse if their is an issue while they are tied. That Wooden log that you might think is strong in reality might not be strong enough for your horse. The idea in my mind is yes my horse is so well behaved I could hypothetically tie them to anything and they follow pressure and never pull back in a perfect world. Remember that teaching them to follow the lead rope with there feet from tip number one sets your horse up for success, if your horse never thinks it’s ok to put tension in your lead rope then it will also apply when tied. When I do other ground work with a flag tarp or pull things around is another way we help prepare a horse for incidences like something being drug attached to a lead rope. I debated the grousom image but this was a horse that was tied to a not secured metal gate.
]]><![CDATA[Don't give up]]>Fri, 07 Feb 2020 00:37:19 GMThttps://www.moniquehorsemanship.com/blog/dont-give-upDon’t give up.
Release is reward.
The lifelong horse journey is hard. Our egos get in the way and gosh sometimes we just wanna give up.
I’ve spent hours trying to catch one horse. I’ve spent hours trying to cross one stupid ditch/creek/pole or whatever task or purpose may be at hand.
Many people I work with get discouraged because a trainer can do things faster then they can. A trainer can do it faster simply because they have put the time in. It’s not magic, it’s time spent working through the struggles and ups and downs.
I can often do something in 5 minutes now, because I spent days crying, really mad, and so frustrated working through a tough spot in a horse and have and still do feel the way you feel right now. Horses are extremely humbling and challenge us to grow and learn in new ways every day.
When you give up mid task/maneuver/peoject, when you back the pressure off when no traction is being made because you’re frustrated, you rewarded your horse for the behavior they are offering. Most of the time you rewarded them for the exact behavior you are so frustrated with.
In the next moment you ask your horse for the same maneuver or behavior, it will probably take even longer now and be more frustrating. Why is that? All because you released on a ‘I’m giving up moment’ because of your own distraction/frustration with the situation, instead of hanging in there to receive what you’d like the horse to really be doing instead.
Here’s an example:
Your horse is spooking and will not turn left. You pull on the left rein to try to turn left and mid way though you give up and switch to pull on the right rein and turn right instead. You chose to turn right instead because it feels easier and less confrontational. It feels this way because that’s the way your horse is dragging you, spooking to get away from whatever is happening on the left.
What you taught and communicated to your horse is; if I pull on the left rein just ignore me and take me the opposite direction and keep pulling on me until I give up or allow you to change my focus or plan.
Here’s another example, trailering. A horse that doesn’t want to load in the trailer and is backing away, and you quit asking the horse to come forward and give them a break instead when they have left the trailer.
What you’re reinforcing and teaching is leaving the trailer is safer, it is safer to to rely on their own prey animal instincts alone than it is to look to you for safety and answers. You are teaching your horse there is no reason to believe and trust in your leadership, because you also don’t believe and trust yourself enough to follow through and keep the pressure on until your horse can offer you the correct answer you are seeking. If you can’t trust your own leadership and hang in there why should your horse trust you either?
Horses learn from the application and release of pressure. If you’ve softened in the wrong place 20 times you are now going to have to convince you horse that the thing you reinforced was right all those times is actually a lie, the wrong answer. It’s no wonder why you can create more of a battle with your horse when the dynamic of communication and learning is working this way. Try to hang in and wait longer while working through problems for the correct answer you are looking for the first time, and each time and try after that.
The key lesson here is horses take timing, patience, and experience. Try to let go as much of your own ego as possible and work through the problem with the end goal in mind even when it gets frustrating. It’s okay to make mistakes as you’re learning better timing. Keep your attitude and determination in check and keep going until you get what you asked for. Don’t allow frustration to defeat you. Remember you can take as long of a break as you need in the moment that your horse has found that answer you wished for them to seek. It’s ok to end on that note for the day even.
]]><![CDATA[Ride the horse you have in this moment.]]>Fri, 07 Feb 2020 00:35:56 GMThttps://www.moniquehorsemanship.com/blog/ride-the-horse-you-have-in-this-momentRide the Horse You Have Today — Not the One You Had YesterdayToo often, we get stuck dwelling on our horse’s past—good rides, bad rides, or old behaviors—and we end up riding thathorse instead of the one right in front of us.
Maybe you had a frustrating ride yesterday, so today you climb in the saddle expecting the same. Or maybe your horse finally started listening after a lot of leg pressure, but you keep using the same strong aids, not adjusting to your horse’s new responsiveness because you’re still focused on what was.
When clients call me for help, they often want to give me the entire backstory. My response? It’s irrelevant.
Why? Because what matters isn’t the past—it’s what your horse shows me right now. Horses may never forget, but they live in the moment, and so should we.
I can only work with what’s presented at this exact moment. Often, the horse is better than the usual behavior the client expects, simply because new boundaries have been set. Sometimes I uncover behaviors the client says they’ve never seen—because I hold the horse accountable to be more responsive and respectful to their human.

Your Progress and Your Horse’s Progress Should Go Hand in HandAs your consistency, feel, and timing improve, so should your horse. With effective communication, you can make your horse respond with lighter aids within minutes.
If your horse isn’t improving—or worse, seems less responsive—something is off. You might not be matching your horse’s learning speed, or your timing may be off, preventing the horse from finding better responsiveness. Sticking to the same ineffective approach without trying something new will keep you stuck.
This is a crucial skill for all riders, especially when working with multiple horses. Each horse is unique—what works for one might be too soft or too harsh for another. The way you support one horse might put you at risk on the next.

Leave the Past Behind — Train the Horse You See TodayBefore every ride or interaction, clear your mind of past memories and expectations. Be 100% present with the horse in front of you.
Train the horse you have right now.
]]><![CDATA[In an Ice Storm in Oklahoma . . .]]>Mon, 30 Jul 2018 03:08:27 GMThttps://www.moniquehorsemanship.com/blog/in-an-ice-storm-in-oklahoma
Whenever you and your horse face a dangerous or unusual situation, you realize how important it is for your horse to lead super respectfully. In a crazy ice storm trying to get loaded up and out of Oklahoma, I was very thankful my horse respected and trusted me. We walked out of the barn onto a sheer sheet of ice, and to add to the difficulty of handling him on this slippery surface, he had slick slider horseshoes on his back feet. I asked him to walk as slow as he could, and he listened each time I said, “OK. You’ve got to slow up and go with me.” When we got to the trailer, I asked him to stand still. I needed time to put down shavings so he wouldn’t lose his footing as he jumped up into the trailer. He did exactly what I told him to do, and he made it into the trailer without a misstep. So when you ask why I’m so “picky” about teaching my horse to lead well, this is why. On that morning in Oklahoma, my horse didn’t take one single step except for what I asked him to take, and it saved him from hurting himself.

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