​Quiet Battles, Heavy LoadsIn the world of horse training, the battles we fight are often quiet and unseen. I’m speaking from my own experience, and I hope this offers horse owners a little inside perspective into what we go through—not just as professionals, but as people.
Every trainer I know is struggling. Not just busy--struggling. We pour our blood, sweat, and hearts into this profession. We understand when clients bounce around looking for more affordable options or different solutions. We get it.
But what often goes unnoticed is that trainers are shouldering a lot more than most people realize.

What You Don’t SeeBehind the scenes, many of us are grieving miscarriages, battling cancer, navigating divorces, or dealing with profound personal loss—all while showing up every day to help you and your horse.
We don’t get days off. We don’t get to shut off our phones. While we’re eating dinner (if we get to eat dinner), we’re answering 50 texts about colic, supplements, schedule changes, or lesson questions that could’ve waited.
We do it because we love the horses.
But we’re also tired. Really tired.

The Mental Load is HeavyWe lie awake at night after a client texts to say they’re leaving—often with no notice. We wonder what we did wrong. We schedule vet appointments for a horse that isn’t right. We arrange PPEs for horses that must sell soon or the client will be upset. We hold horses for the farrier so we don’t lose them, too.
We rearrange six canceled lessons after a horse show, while trying to avoid complaints from the four horses still wearing blankets in 60-degree weather.
And when a horse we’ve been trying to sell goes lame—on the very day we need them to show well—it’s another gut punch.
Then the trailer breaks down after a late-night haul home, and there’s no one around to help unload.

We Are Human, TooSome days, we get on 10 horses—and maybe one feels great, while the others fight us every step. Some days we question everything. We feel like we’re failing. We wonder if we even belong in this industry.
We try to find time for our own goals, our own riding, our own lessons—but where does that time come from?
We go home to our spouses, partners, or families exhausted, but still trying to give them our attention—while mentally stuck on what went wrong in the barn that day.
Some of us are single, wondering if we’ll ever find someone, because who has time to meet anyone when you work 12-hour days, 7 days a week?

We Go the Extra Mile—Every DayMost of the work we do goes unseen:

• Your trainer gave your horse meds late at night—for free.
  
• She held your horse for the vet—and didn’t bill you.
  
• She answered your texts on her day off.
  
• She kept your horse in training when you fell behind on payment.
  

This is our dedication. It’s also why it hurts so deeply when a client just walks out—no warning, no communication. It’s personal. Because we gave our all.

We’re Not Asking for Pity—Just PerspectiveWe are professionals, yes—but we are also human beings. We sacrifice meals, time with family, vacations, and our own well-being to keep your horse healthy, trained, and progressing.
Most of us live month-to-month, managing the wellbeing of not just your horse—but 20+ others, each of whom we care about deeply.
When we have to reschedule your lesson, it’s not because we’re lazy or disorganized. It’s because we’re juggling a hundred things at once—including your horse’s best interest.

There Is No Bonus for BurnoutMany jobs offer incentives, paid time off, and benefits.
Horse trainers?

• No health insurance.
  
• No paid vacation.
  
• No bonuses for championship wins.
  
• No guaranteed income when we’re injured or sick.
  

When we raise our rates to survive, we often get pushback—or we lose clients. And if we dare to take a vacation, we come back to frustration and chaos, needing to work double to catch up. And we’re penalized for stepping away—even briefly.

What You Can DoIf you’re a client who cares—and most of you do--here’s how you can show up for your trainer:
✅ Give 30 days' notice before leaving a program
✅ Honor commissions on sales and purchases
✅ Respect days off—save texts for work hours
✅ Tip your trainer for show days and extra time
✅ Pay for additional services (vet holds, trailer rides, etc.)
✅ Celebrate their wins—cheer them on at shows
✅ Surprise them with coffee or a kind word
✅ Acknowledge the extras—because they add up

This Is the Life of a Horse TrainerPassion meets exhaustion.
Dedication meets challenge.
Every day, we wake up and try again—not just because it’s our job, but because it’s our calling.
We are not just horse trainers.
We are caretakers, mentors, advocates, and quiet warriors in the background of your horse’s story.
So the next time you see your trainer, maybe ask them how they’re doing.
You never know what they’re carrying that day.

Why Horse Training Takes TimeAnd Why That’s OkaySomething has shifted in the horse world—and not always for the better. Somewhere along the line, we started expecting that problems could be solved in a day, that a horse’s behavior could be changed overnight, and that training should happen on a deadline.
If you called a trainer and said,
“Can you teach my horse flying lead changes by Friday for a show on Saturday?”
you’d probably be told you’re crazy.
And yet, I get calls all the time asking for immediate fixes—as if I can snap my fingers and erase deeply ingrained issues, confusion, or fear.

Lead Changes Don’t Happen OvernightI often use lead changes as a great example, because they’re a complex maneuver. Teaching them well requires time, consistency, and all the right building blocks in place long before you ever ask the horse to make the change.
As a trainer, I’ll spend months building up to lead changes:

• Getting the horse strong and balanced
  
• Teaching responsiveness to subtle cues
  
• Ensuring the horse understands what’s being asked
  

Even then, I’ll ride through the early, messy stages before a client ever tries it. Why? Because I know there will be some regression once a new rider begins to ask for it themselves. That’s natural—it’s part of the learning process for both horse and rider.

Trailer Loading Isn’t About “Making It Happen”Now let’s talk about trailer loading—one of the most common urgent calls I get.
People often expect I’ll load their horse that same day. Sometimes I can. But should I?
No.
Forcing it just makes me the "bad guy" in an already tense situation. It’s not fair to me—and more importantly, it’s not fair to the horse. Loading into a trailer requires trust, timing, and a clear, calm process. Rushing it can create lasting fear and resistance that’s much harder to undo later.

Doing It Wrong Leaves a MarkHere’s the reality: Practicing something poorly or unclearly leads to poor or unclear results.
Imagine your grade school teacher trying to teach you long division—but they don’t actually understand it themselves. You’d probably leave confused, frustrated, and maybe even afraid of math.
It’s the same with horses.
I fully support people who want to learn alongside their horse. That’s part of the magic of horsemanship. But there’s a time and a place for it—and not every moment is a teaching moment for both of you at the same time. Sometimes, the horse needs a clear teacher first, before learning with a student who’s still building their own toolbox.

It’s Not About Grit. It’s About Skills.This work isn’t about who’s braver or who has more grit. It’s about having the skills and feel to communicate clearly, fairly, and consistently—so that when your horse is carrying someone who isn’t yet that clear or consistent, everyone stays safe and on track.
That’s what good training does. It sets up the horse and the rider for success—not just today, but in the long run.

In the process of working with horses, we as an industry began assuming that because of the size of a horse it is normal for them to be insensitive. For example, it may feel like there is 500 pounds of dead weight on your rein or lead rope. The reality is horses are very capable of being light and responsive, and they even depend on it to survive in the wild. Their ability to hear, see, and notice every little detail is unmatched.


Having to kick, pull hard, or use your whip repeatedly is a result of a riders' timing being off or inconsistent. Now, don’t get me wrong; each horse is an individual, and one horses' softness compared to another will vary (this is an evolutionary development explaining why there are all different rankings in a herd), but it is not normal for your horse to be dull.


Oftentimes, I hear people use the word "desensitize," and I find that concept misleading. Yes, we have to use a certain level of desensitization to get our horse to tolerate riders. From haltering to saddling and riding we ask our horses to do things very outside of their survival needs. However, through these necessities of training, we actually do not want to teach our horses to tune out and dissociate to the point that they lose all of their natural responsiveness. I frequently see horses who have been ‘desensitized’ improperly and feel trapped when exposed to something scary resulting in the horse feeling stuck or feeling the need to defend themselves such as striking or kicking.  


As a trainer my goal is to be able to use aids in a way that I can allow horses a place to go, and finding a release of the pressure. Eventually, they will figure out that stressful pressure that was so scary and they had previously reacted too, doesn’t warrant a huge reaction after all, but with correct training and timing, there is an out. 


Another mistake that I often see my clients make is constantly begging their horse through pulling or kicking resulting in horses being trained either to fight or to completely tune us out. Horses that frequently tolerate poor timing on the part of the human often develop the defense of dissociating to cope with the constant unrelenting pressure. These behaviors are often seen in lesson horses or schoolmasters who, are worth their weight in gold, and also know how to read between the lines and tune out unnecessary noise from the rider. The best way to create the desired lovely lightness and responsiveness is to use an aid and remove it as quickly as possible when a rider has achieved the desired response. Your horse will learn that all he stop the pressure of the aid, therefore alleviating nagging, is give you the correct answer in a short period of time.