In the world of horse training, the battles we face are often quiet and unseen. I'm speaking from my own experience, and I hope to offer horse owners a little inside perspective into what we go through.
As a horse trainer, I don't have a single friend in the industry who isn't struggling. And I mean really struggling. We pour our blood, sweat, and tears into this profession, and we understand that you, as horse owners, sometimes seek what you believe to be a better option. Clients might bounce around, trying to find a more cost-effective choice, and we understand that. But what you might not see is that almost none of us share what's going on in our lives. Behind the scenes, many trainer friends I talk to are dealing with clients who come to the barn, crying and upset about things in their lives. Yet, it's rare for trainers to open up about their struggles. But I’ll tell you, I know trainers who have cancer, trainers who have had miscarriages, trainers who are getting divorced, trainers who’ve lost family members, and much more. Most of us don't have many days off, and we rarely get a break. We're at home, inundated with 50 texts and emails about your horse colicking, needing a different supplement, or asking questions that should wait until your next lesson. But here's the thing: we love the horses, and we love what we do. However, we're tired – really tired.We receive that text saying our client is leaving a day before the end of the month and we lay awake wondering what we didn’t do. We have to plan a vet appointment for a horse that’s not feeling right. Then, plan two PPE exams for horses we’ve been trying to sell for months, knowing if we don’t get them sold the client will be mad. Next, we have to hold three horses for the farrier so the farrier doesn’t fire us. Last but not least, we have to make sure you have all the paperwork to move into the barn. Don’t forget! We have to make sure that we get the six lessons moved onto the schedule that we had to cancel because we went to the horse show. We are always making sure that none of the horses are lame this week, because you know horse’s are unpredictable. And what do you know!! Today, the horse we’re trying to sell is crippled, and another is missing a shoe. Our trusty horse trailer gave out during the late-night return from the show, with no one around to help us unload it. The stress keeps piling up. Now our client is crying in their lesson because of a bad day they’ve had and their horse isn’t listening or doing what they want. Then, we get told that a horse that was coming in for training can’t afford it so they are bailing, and of course we didn’t get a deposit so we’re scrambling to fill a stall. Meanwhile, barn owners are fuming over damaged stalls and fences. Plus, 4 horses are still wearing blankets in 60-degree weather, causing more complaints from clients that it wasn’t removed at exactly 43 degrees.We manage the emotions of others while we manage the struggles of riding and caring for horses. We get on 10 horses a day, and on this day they might feel great, and then another day they feel like garbage. Sometimes we feel unsure that we should even be a trainer. The days are hard and we might not be even remotely close to where we want to be. We try to have hopes and dreams for our own riding and take our own lessons, but where do we fit that in? And then, those that have significant others go home and attempt to give them energy and time, all the while worried about everything that went wrong in the day. There are those that want desperately to find someone to have a relationship with, but with what time? They ask if they are going to be alone forever, because where do you meet someone when you’re 7 days a week, 12 hours a day deep? We then hire an assistant to try to help, but of course that’s another cost we may have trouble covering. We love it, so we make it work. What most don’t understand is your trainer drove to the barn to give your horse an extra medication and didn’t charge you. You trainer showed up for a vet appointment and they didn’t charge you, because they are dedicated and care. There’s a million little things that go unnoticed that your trainer does. And it feels like a slap in the face when you just walk out on them. It's personal to us when we give our all and there's a lack of communication. We sometimes mess up. We are human. It’s hard on us when a client whom we thought we were close to suddenly leaves. We're all trying to manage our time while so many of us have nothing to show for the hard work we put in. Most of us are living month to month, and are stressed about your horse's health and wellbeing as much as you are. We're equally stressed about all the 20 horses in our program that we deeply care about. We know it sucks when we have to move a lesson or cancel. We know it’s your lunch break and you have availability. What you don’t know is how difficult it is to accommodate everyone’s schedule into our 60 hour week. Some days we don’t eat lunch. Many days we miss spending time with our families. Our self care typically comes after we take care of you and your horse’s needs. When trainers are at dinner and drop everything to help take your horse for colic surgery or another emergency, and then spend the night waiting for your horse to get out of surgery, we aren’t paid overtime. We have to show up for our other clients the next day even though we are tired and distraught. There is a lot of stuff that we provide behind the scenes that gets overlooked.Many jobs are stressful, but most are performance based. When clients win every show of the year, we don’t get a bonus. There’s no incentive. It doesn’t matter if you were the best trainer this year. We might get better horses in the future, but that doesn’t help us pay this year’s bills. When we try to raise prices to survive, clients leave or complain and tell us their financial troubles. Most jobs give you vacation, insurance, and benefits. If we try to take a vacation, we’re penalized and clients are upset when they didn’t get their lessons. Don’t forget, when we do go on vacation, we don’t make any money and a lot of the time we are spending money to cover our job. We then need to work extra days to recover from being gone. This is a peek into our world, where passion meets exhaustion, and dedication meets challenges. We're not just horse trainers; we're horse lovers, striving to make a difference in the lives of these magnificent animals. So, the next time you see your horse trainer, remember that they, too, are going through their own battles, and a little understanding can go a long way. Compensate your trainer for every additional moment they invest in your horse – whether it’s holding for the vet or farrier, transporting your horse, or simply being there. Surprise them with a cup of coffee as a token of your appreciation. Don’t forget to pay your trainer for their time, whether that is at horse shows or at home. Show your gratitude with a tip. We never get one. Provide a 30-day notice if you plan to make changes. Honor the commission they deserve when your horse is sold or purchased. Respect their personal time by refraining from texting during their days off or vacations. Show your support by attending their shows and cheering them on. This is the life of a horse trainer.
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Something has shifted, and we expect to have a problem fixed in a shorter period of time than it takes your horse to learn. If you called a trainer and asked them to teach your horse lead changes by Friday for a show on Saturday, they would tell you you’re crazy. Yet, I get calls all the time asking to snap my fingers and fix a problem.
I like to use lead changes as an example because it’s not an easy thing to teach a horse, or their people. As a trainer we expect to have all of the building blocks already in place to make this movement possible. We expect to train it, practice it, and fine tune it for months before we let our client or student try it. We also expect there to be some regression when the client/student starts to train on the movement, since they are learning the horse’s buttons as well. When it comes to trailer problems, people expect that I will get the horse in the trailer that day. While I may be able to get it done, that frankly isn’t fair to the horse or to me. It makes me the bad guy, and adds chaos to a situation that already is high stress. Practicing things poorly or in an unclear way leads to a result that is poor and/or unclear. If your grade school teacher was trying to teach you long division without knowing how to do it themselves, it would create a mess. I understand wanting to learn with your horse, and there is a time and place for this. It isn’t about being brave, or having grit. It’s about having the skills to fix a problem or teach a horse something better so that when they’re carrying someone who isn’t as clear or concise with their ask, everyone stays safe and gets the end result they’re wanting. In the process of working with horses, we as an industry began assuming that because of the size of a horse it is normal for them to be insensitive. For example, it may feel like there is 500 pounds of dead weight on your rein or lead rope. The reality is horses are very capable of being light and responsive, and they even depend on it to survive in the wild. Their ability to hear, see, and notice every little detail is unmatched.
Having to kick, pull hard, or use your whip repeatedly is a result of a riders' timing being off or inconsistent. Now, don’t get me wrong; each horse is an individual, and one horses' softness compared to another will vary (this is an evolutionary development explaining why there are all different rankings in a herd), but it is not normal for your horse to be dull. Oftentimes, I hear people use the word "desensitize," and I find that concept misleading. Yes, we have to use a certain level of desensitization to get our horse to tolerate riders. From haltering to saddling and riding we ask our horses to do things very outside of their survival needs. However, through these necessities of training, we actually do not want to teach our horses to tune out and dissociate to the point that they lose all of their natural responsiveness. I frequently see horses who have been ‘desensitized’ improperly and feel trapped when exposed to something scary resulting in the horse feeling stuck or feeling the need to defend themselves such as striking or kicking. As a trainer my goal is to be able to use aids in a way that I can allow horses a place to go, and finding a release of the pressure. Eventually, they will figure out that stressful pressure that was so scary and they had previously reacted too, doesn’t warrant a huge reaction after all, but with correct training and timing, there is an out. Another mistake that I often see my clients make is constantly begging their horse through pulling or kicking resulting in horses being trained either to fight or to completely tune us out. Horses that frequently tolerate poor timing on the part of the human often develop the defense of dissociating to cope with the constant unrelenting pressure. These behaviors are often seen in lesson horses or schoolmasters who, are worth their weight in gold, and also know how to read between the lines and tune out unnecessary noise from the rider. The best way to create the desired lovely lightness and responsiveness is to use an aid and remove it as quickly as possible when a rider has achieved the desired response. Your horse will learn that all he stop the pressure of the aid, therefore alleviating nagging, is give you the correct answer in a short period of time. |